That word is loaded with expectations. Funny.
You know what I mean? Right…..
And yet we have learned that being disabled lowers our expectations of said persons.
Or raised our expectations of those with disabilities.
This may be true as in, that everyone has different abilities.
But, once again we then set higher expectations and often say or imply……
“Come on now, there has to be a way, if you only tried harder you could do it.”
Which in turn can put a guilt trip on those of us who have spent their whole life having to prove that we can’t, or shouldn’t, because it isn’t good for our disability and can make things worse.
People tend to see the amputee or paraplegic athletes who work their butts off and are “able” to do crazy things in their chairs and build enormous muscle. Or the 80 year old who ran a marathon or bends her body into a pretzel and in turn wears high heels and eats a clean diet.
We admire these people.
I admire these people.
But like Cancer is to Cerebral Palsy there is nothing to compare or compete for.
We all have challenges in this life. Some more so than others. And even in each challenge there is a scale of one to ten in each. No illness or disability is the same from one person to the next. No treatment or path is or will be the same.
We are all individuals with our own journey and approach to life.
People can be well meaning. Or not…..they might think they are, but are not.
I try to weigh the importance of someone’s approach to me and my challenges.
I have to find out if they are even receptive to really listening and finding out what is really going on with me, or are just uncomfortable and wanting to “fix” me.
I can’t tell you how many times I have wasted my energy trying to educate someone who is dead set on their own agenda. And that includes Doctors.
I know my body and how I feel about it, or what is truly going on. I have had 50 plus years talking to it and listening as well. I also have certain criteria for what I will do to try and treat my stuff as it comes up. I am not opposed to input…..if I ask for it.
I look for respect in my choices. I am stubborn.
No, wait…..I am careful when it comes to my body, and my life.
I am disabled. But that doesn’t mean that I am less than.
Just different like everyone else in this one size fits all world.